Hello Dazzle! Thanks for coming and hanging out with me today, I’m glad that you are here. Today I want to talk about how I feel about my job. The simple answer to this question is: Yes. But I wanted to go into more depth than that.
For those of you that don’t know, I am now working full time as a Content Creator under the name of ZebraPig. I am creating content over numerous social media platforms. If you are interested in seeing more of what I’m doing you can check out my More ZebraPig page where there are links to all my different social media accounts.
I never dreamed of being a Content Creator and if you’d asked me a year ago if this was something I was going to be doing full time I wouldn’t have thought so. Life is strange that way. It often leads us in unexpected directions. Taking us on crazy, unpredictable journeys.
While I have been creating social media content for about a decade now, I previously had only thought of it as a hobby and had never considered it as a means to earn an income. My decision to join the Twitch community 6 months ago changed my relationship with social media in ways I hadn’t expected. Then the viral event in October presented me with an opportunity. I decided to take a leap of faith. Nothing is really clear yet and things might not work out, but I am glad that I took this risk.
Working full time as a Content Creator has given me a new perspective on myself. I had always believed that I needed outside pressures and structure in order to perform high quality work and to maintain a consistent schedule. Well, I’ve proven to myself that I am fully capable of being my own boss and staying highly productive in an environment that I have set up for myself. I have demonstrated that I don’t need a toxic work environment to be a good worker. In fact, I have been performing better now then I have ever been able to.
This job has allowed me to connect with numerous individuals around the world and to have in depth meaningful conversations about things that really matter. I have learned a great deal about how things compare between America and other parts of the world. I have also been able to connect with many people who have had similar life experiences as my own. It is validating to know that I am not alone.
I love creating things. Writing, making videos, generating art etc. are all creative expressions that I greatly enjoy. I love being able to pull together pieces to create something new. I love being able to socialize and interact with other people in a meaningful way. This job has allowed me to engage in both those activities full time.
What I have enjoyed the most about this job is that I have felt that I am more able to be myself then I have ever been allowed. Part of being ZebraPig is advocating for the importance of accepting the differences between people and that meant taking the risk of showing the world who I am without masking. It has been difficult to remove that mask and I’m not confident that I have completely. But while doing this job I have been making my weird noises, flapping my hands with excitement and doing strange things with my face. These are things I was always told I could never do in public. Yet, I have been for all the world to see.
This isn’t to say that this job comes without stress or worry. There are times that I struggle with the Muse and don’t feel as creative but I still need to produce content. Every day since becoming a Content Creator, I have struggled with Imposter Syndrome. The sustainability of all of this isn’t, as of yet, a sure thing. I’m not sure that I will ever feel that it is a sure thing, given the nature of what a Content Creator does. There is all the uncertainty that comes with there being no clear cut path to success.
While making the transition into the new role of being a Content Creator I have also had to find closure with leaving bedside nursing behind. There has been a great deal of grieving and a lot of struggling to come to terms with the trauma that the profession I love inflicted upon me. It has been difficult to hold that dichotomy in my hands. With the new job there has been a need to modify my self identity. All of this has been a difficult internal transition that has required a great deal of emotional work.
Nothing about this job has been easy or expected. But I am finding there to be much joy in the doing of this work. Looking towards the future, I hope that I can find a balance in order to maintain this over the long term. I have brought everything that I am into this job. If it doesn’t work out, I will know that I gave it everything that I had and I will walk into the next thing with my head held high without any regrets. After all, I am doing my best and that is all that we can ask of ourselves.
Well, that’s about it for my rambling today. Thanks for coming and spending some time with me. If you like what you read, click on that like button. It really does help! Until we talk again, you take care of yourselves!