110921-0602

I am not the person you see
as I am living here behind my mask.
You have taught me
that be who I am isn’t safe.
You taught me this with your words,
with the way you’ve shunned me.
You taught me this when you laughed
and made fun of me for being different.
The teacher lied to me,
when she said that words could never hurt me.
Sticks and stones break my bones
and the words cut something deeper.
When you told me, I wasn’t good enough, I believed you.
When you told me, I was lazy, I believed you.
These words you gave me,
became part of who I am.
What is said, is done.
You can never take them back.
And now I live here, behind my mask.

101921-0751

This thing, that you call me,
doesn’t change who I am,
yet it defines me,
This name, this diagnosis,
that you gave me.
The name didn’t make me this way,
yet it shapes everything around me.
The stigma for this label,
marking every social interaction
and limiting the choices I can make.

042621-1446

Broken, scattered pieces

Laying strewn across the floor

Something missing and lost forever

I cannot no longer see my future

Or the person I was becoming

Now, I’m undone and something else

I am this diagnosis

This label that owns me

Stealing everything I imagined I’d become

And rewriting me without my consent

As my body cracks and crumbles

My hope turns to dust

Leaving me here to stare at my mortality in the mirror

042621-1451

It could be worse

But I wish it was something better

Burning pain

Branding me, scarring me, breaking me

In all the places you cannot see

I walk through the crowd

A spector of suffering unrecognized

Looking the same as those around me

And I wonder if they feel the same

Bitter, iron bars caging around me

Biting down into my bones

Seeping into the fundamental programming

Forever altering who I am

I clutch upon the thing with feathers

That perches precariously in my soul

I wish I could hear it sing

Letting the little bird go

I watch it fly away, fly away

And with a fragile voice

Begin to sing

032413-1740

Be like the tree.
Set your feet firmly upon the ground
so that you might have a solid foundation to build yourself.
Reach your arms up to the sky
so that you may be inspired by the sun.
Drink of the inner waters and of the sunlight
so that you may know joy.
Feel the winds of the world around you
so that you might free you soul.
And like the tree,
know the eternal satisfaction
in the simple state of being within the now.