I feel nothing but the empty;
surging, huge inside me,
filling all my spaces
and silencing all my songs.
This world always told me
I can never belong.
Always reaching to reshape me,
pressing me against the mold,
forcing out all the colors.
I look at the mirrored grey
and I imagine the rainbow
and all the ways I was painted
before you had your way.
Looking out this little window
upon the expansive grey,
I wonder: who stole your light
and made you believe in shadows?
All the thieving generations,
blindly, grabbing at what is gone,
hurting all their babies,
snuffing out the little lights,
too painful to look upon.
This angry, raging circle,
cutting as it spins.
But why not
turn the lights back on?


eggshell fragile
with new skin
freshly shedding the old
sitting here in the sun
not brave enough yet to venture
recalling all the things
that I thought made me
and suddenly realizing
I’m none
I’m only this
nearing the last days
but always just born
still discovering
everything around me
is awe and luxury
still so new
standing on this earth
I can never be old
forever just a child
hoping for the answers
and realizing I have none


I dream of just a normal day.
A day without pills
One without appointments
and not having pain

I dream of a single day
that I could do anything
run or dance or sing
and not being afraid

Just a single day
for doing anything

catching butterflies
or painting trees
and sipping on tea
Just one day

A single day
without any compromises
and without surprises
no broken promises
and no delays

Just a jump out of bed
and yell at the sky kind of day


My fragile flesh now fails me
While my mind remains the same.
A prison of flesh and bones
I’m bound to this body.
An essential part of what I am.
Yet, this tangible stuff,
is not the essential stuff.
That which cannot be seen nor touched
Truly makes me what I am.
Do not judge me
for the tears I cry today
As I grieve the self I once imagined
and now know can never be.