Explanations and Excuses

Hello my Zebras and Spoonies! Thanks for coming and hanging out with me today. I’m glad that you are here. Today I want to talk about Explanations and Excuses. This is a frequent topic of conversation in chronic illness forums. Doesn’t matter if it is ADHD or GP, having a chronic illness leads to this strange debate of Explanations vs Excuses. Are they different? If so, how? Is it ever reasonable to use your illness as an excuse? Is it ableism to accuse someone of using their illness as an excuse? A lot of questions come up around this topic. So, let’s get into it!

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Everything comes and goes. Time stretches out to our pasts and then out into our futures. Time before we began and then long after we are gone. Immense oceans and the boundlessness of space are mere specks in the vast realm of time. Does it rise and fall with its own tides? Imagine it coming into shore with each new being and then receding again with each death. A rhythm of life that lasts forever. Time begetting time.

Does it fold and overlap so that the past can become the future and the future can be part of the past? Imagine the way that changes everything. This would deepen the nature of forever to an even greater infinity (yes, I know you cannot make infinity larger). Would each place of touching be a time that we could choose to change the flow or would these be places in which more then one reality exists. That would imply that there are an infinity of realities making all of existence stretch out forever. Imagine how many people we could be while still being the same. Imagine in how many realities we wouldn’t even come into being. A single relationship not resulting in that one child would erase an entire family line. And the reverse would be true. A relationship that resulted in a child when it previously had not would create a line of possibly hundreds or thousands of people that would not exist in the other reality. What then does this make us? How would we define an individual? I think it would be by our DNA. That would have to be essentially the same or we would be someone else. We could make different choices that would greatly effect the person we become. And those people we encounter could also make different choices that would effect us into being different people. Imagine the difference of a 70 year old person who was raped at 18 versus the same 70 year old if they hadn’t been raped. They would be the same person, but I imagine that much of them would be different. In this way we too could last forever, if the realities had endless possibilities and versions.

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The Narrative

Who we are is the story we tell ourselves. When we look back over our life events we paint those events into the context of the story we believe we are living and the character that we think we are. When a traumatic event happens to us, we can choose to recount those events within the context of the Story of the Survior or we can recount those same events within the context of the Story of the Victim. The events haven’t changed, but the story has and because that story has changed, the way that we view ourselves also changes.

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Medications come with risks, so why would anyone want to join the many who take a fist full of pills every day? It is easy to stand on the outside and declare this a bad idea. But the reality is that nothing in medicine is clear cut or easy. It is always about choosing between the lesser evils, because there are never any perfect answers. Any treatment you choose will come with risks (even diet and exercise).

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