I feel nothing but the empty;
surging, huge inside me,
filling all my spaces
and silencing all my songs.
This world always told me
I can never belong.
Always reaching to reshape me,
pressing me against the mold,
forcing out all the colors.
I look at the mirrored grey
and I imagine the rainbow
and all the ways I was painted
before you had your way.
Looking out this little window
upon the expansive grey,
I wonder: who stole your light
and made you believe in shadows?
All the thieving generations,
blindly, grabbing at what is gone,
hurting all their babies,
snuffing out the little lights,
too painful to look upon.
This angry, raging circle,
cutting as it spins.
But why not
turn the lights back on?

To What End?

Hello my Zebras and Spoonies! Thanks for coming and hanging out with me today, I’m glad that you are here. So, today I want to talk about the reasons that I spend so much of my time talking about my medical stuff on various social media platforms. There are several reasons that I feel this is an important activity to engage in.

The first reason that I do this is for myself. This gives me a place to talk about my medical problems and emotionally process the things that are going on in my life without having to dump all that on the people I live with. I talk to them too, but it’s important that they aren’t my only outlet because having chronic illness is big and creates a lot of baggage for a person to work through. It’s never a good idea to try to have one person handle all of that with you.

Continue reading “To What End?”