Hello Dazzle! Thanks for coming and hanging out with me today, I’m glad that you are here. Today I wanted to talk about the ways that those we hang out with can impact who we are and how we see the world. We often don’t consider the way that we are influenced by other people when we are choosing whether or not we should be including someone in our lives, but I feel that this should be a key factor. When we do consider how we are influenced by others, we generally think of active peer pressure. Those moments when a friend will try to sway you to behave in one way or another. But there is a much more powerful influence that our relationships have over us: Cognitive Ease. This is the passive peer pressure that is always being applied when we are around others.
The phrase “guilt by association” is often considered to be an unfair truth about the way that people will consider you to be similar to those that you associate with. But what research has taught us is that we do, in fact, become more like those people that we spend our time with. That means that it is completely reasonable for people to judge us by the people that we choose to associate ourselves with. First, we give social support to a person and their behaviors when we choose to socially engage with them. This is a way that behavior is reinforced. Secondly, and more importantly, we change our truth based on what we are exposed to over time. This means that whom ever we choose to engage with socially has the power to reshape the way that we perceive the world around us.
Our relationships change our truth.
Let’s start by explaining how our brains work. Thinking requires a lot of energy and our bodies do their best to save energy whenever possible. Using less energy means that we are more likely to survive because we will require fewer resources to continue to exist. This preferred state of wanting things that require less brain effort is called “Cognitive Ease.” This quality impacts how positively (or negatively) we feel about something and this is based upon our biological need to conserve energy.
The higher the cognitive ease associated with a task, the more motivated we will feel to invest our time and effort in it. When cognitive ease diminishes, the mental effort required to complete a task becomes too high and we switch to a state of cognitive strain which can lead us to become more vigilant and suspicious resulting in a decrease in confidence, trust and pleasure. In other words, people are happier and more receptive towards familiar and easily understandable situations in which they feel safer, more confident and at ease.
This makes sense if you consider it from a survival perspective. The things that are in your life on a day to day basis are not likely to be life threatening and thus can be deemed safe. While those things that are new to you are a risk. They might be safe, but they might not be. This is the reason that we humans prefer habits and routine. Our brains consider this sameness to be safer then novelty and change which will always carry the risk of danger.
The problem is that our brains apply this simple formula to everything in our lives, including those who are around us and the behaviors that they are engaging in. When we see other people doing something every day and they continue to be safe and healthy appearing, our brains will consider their behaviors to be safe and good. In this way, those who we choose to spend our time with can have an influence on the way that we see the world even if they are not actively attempting to change our world view.
The principle of cognitive ease tells us that we are most likely to believe what is familiar, what is easy and what validates the things that we already believe. Those that we spend our social time with are a huge portion of what is considered familiar in our lives. Those who hang out around people that smoke or drink alcohol are more likely to develop the habit of smoking and drinking alcohol even if their friends are never offering it to them or encouraging them to engage in the habit. The same is true for eating veggies and exercising. We are more likely to engage in behaviors that those around us are also engaging in.
What this means is that it is essential for us to consider our relationships in context of who we want to be. We should only be surrounding ourselves with the kind of people that we want to be. The more time that you spend with a person, the more important it is for you to consider how they might shape your world view. This makes it necessary to change social circles when you are trying to break the habits of addiction or when you are trying to break the cycle of violence. People who are engaging in habits that you are trying to leave behind will be passively influencing you to keep those habits, regardless of how much they might be verbally and emotionally supporting your move for change.
It also means that it can be very difficult for us to change our beliefs about the world even when we are presented with facts. When science demonstrates that our world view is wrong, it creates cognitive strain which switches our brains into the vigilant and suspicious mode. This is what allows us to fall into the trap of cognitive bias. Cognitive bias is a systematic thought process caused by the tendency of the human brain to simplify information processing through a filter of personal experience and preferences. The filtering process is a coping mechanism that enables the brain to prioritize and process large amounts of information quickly. While the mechanism is effective, its limitations can cause errors in thought.
Even when we are aware of our cognitive bias and cognitive ease, they are very difficult to avoid. Our brains work this way at the fundamental level. Thus, these factors cannot be erased. However, knowing that this is the manner in which our brains function makes it possible to approach the world in a way that we are becoming the people we want to become while not constantly fighting against the way that our biology functions.
Knowing that this is how our brains work gives us the power to use it to our advantage. Want to learn how to play an instrument? Surround yourself with people who already do or who are actively learning. Want to become physically fit? Hang out with those that are fit. Without realizing it, we will begin to emulate those around us and we will begin to do the things that these people are doing. When we place ourselves in groups of people who hold traits we desire, we place ourselves in the position to become like those people.
The final implication of cognitive ease is that we are all bounded ethically. “Bounded ethicality is the idea that our ability to make ethical choices is often limited or restricted because of internal and external pressures.” [2] Most people have a sense of ethics and behave in an ethical manner, but no one is able to behave ethically all of the time. Our cognitive ease will often have us behaving on an autopilot mode without any ethical consideration for our behaviors. The cognitive biases that we develop will make it difficult for us to see this lack of ethical evaluation.
Well, that’s about it for my rambling today. Thanks for coming and spending some time with me. If you like what you read, click on that like button. It really does help! Until we talk again, you take care of yourselves!
Zebra Pig 
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