Things They Don’t Tell You About Nursing

There are things that they don’t tell you about becoming a nurse.
They don’t tell you that with every death you attend
the dead will take a piece of you
until you are hollowed out
and all you are is laying on the floor.
They don’t tell you that you will always do your best
while it will never be enough
because it doesn’t matter how many you save
you will always judge yourself by the one you lost.
They don’t tell you that you cannot save them all
and that in the end, you cannot save yourself.
They don’t tell you that you will want to repay the debt
but there is never enough to balance the scales
with the souls of the dead.
And they don’t tell you that you will give
until you have nothing left
then feel guilty when you cannot give more
and be left believing that you did everything wrong.
Because they don’t tell you that the system isn’t about healing,
it’s about profit
which leaves you desperately try to save everyone,
even yourself,
while the company bleeds everyone dry
denying you the possibility of everything that nursing should be.