Questioning Social Norms

Hello Dazzle! Thanks for coming and hanging out with me today, I’m glad that you are here. Today I want to talk about social norms, or the rules that we choose to live by.

Somewhere along the way in life, I came to a gradual understanding. It was something that settled into my mind over a long stretch of time, almost like a soft whisper that grew louder as I paid more attention to it. Most social rules are really just the preferences of the people who raised us. They aren’t rooted in anything that actually matters. This realization was life-changing for me. Thinking about it this way allowed me to revisit the rules I was taught as a child with a critical eye. I began to ask myself whether these rules were serving me now, as an adult, in this moment of my life. If not, then I don’t need them. The rules can change.

Consider the act of smiling and saying hello to strangers on the street. We’ve all been taught that it’s polite, that it’s the “right” thing to do. But I realized I don’t actually have to smile and greet every stranger I pass. No one is entitled to my smile. Instead, it is a gift that I can choose to give or withhold, depending on how I’m feeling in that moment. If I’m having a tough day, I don’t owe anyone a piece of my energy just because it’s expected. This simple shift in perspective has given me more freedom in my interactions and allowed me to be more genuine in my responses.

And then there’s the matter of gifts. We often feel obligated to accept gifts offered to us, driven by the fear of hurting the giver’s feelings. But why should I prioritize their feelings over my own? If I don’t have space for a new item in my home, I must be selective about what I allow in. If accepting a gift makes me uncomfortable, then that discomfort matters. It’s a signal that something isn’t right for me, and I have every right to honor that feeling.

This brings us to another realization: the way we organize our lives can also be dictated by these arbitrary rules. Take the way we fold our clothing. Who decided that clothing needs to be neatly folded before it goes into the dresser? Who says it has to go in a dresser at all? If it’s clean, that’s good enough. There’s nothing wrong with letting it sit in a basket for a day—or even a few days—while I figure out what I want to wear. By freeing myself from the notion that everything must be perfectly organized, I’ve given myself room to breathe and to embrace the chaos that life sometimes brings.

The thing about rules is that they often trap us into thinking we must behave in certain ways, that not conforming in some way makes us less valuable. These rules can be suffocating, and they can limit our authentic selves. They force us into boxes that don’t fit, where we struggle to breathe and feel like we’re constantly letting someone down. But here’s the truth: these rules are no different than my saying that I like purple. Just because I find comfort and joy in that color doesn’t mean it’s right for you. We all have our own preferences, our own ways of doing things, and that’s perfectly okay.

In questioning these social norms, we can begin to uncover our authentic selves. We start to explore who we are, free from the weight of expectations and preconceived notions. It’s an empowering journey, one that leads us to make choices that align with our true values rather than simply following the path laid out for us by others.

Let’s talk about manners—those little societal agreements that dictate how we should behave in various situations. Who decided that we must say “please” and “thank you” in every circumstance? While I absolutely believe in gratitude and respect, I also recognize that sometimes, in certain contexts, these words feel hollow or obligatory. There are moments when I want to express my thanks authentically, and others when I simply don’t have it in me.

Revisiting these rules can be a process. It requires us to confront feelings of guilt or shame when we deviate from what we’ve been taught. After all, many of us have internalized the belief that to break a social norm is to be rude or disrespectful. But think of it this way: what if we redefined respect? What if respect means honoring our own feelings and boundaries, even if that means letting someone down occasionally? That’s a powerful shift.

Think about your daily routines. How many of them are dictated by the rules you learned as a child? Do you make your bed every morning because you genuinely enjoy the act, or because it’s something you were told was necessary? Are your meals at specific times of day set by family traditions, or do they reflect your current needs and lifestyle? It’s worth examining these habits and considering whether they serve you in the present moment.

And let’s not forget about the impact of social media on our perceptions of what’s “normal.” The highlight reels we see can create a sense of inadequacy and an unrelenting pressure to conform to lifestyles that may not resonate with us. Just because someone else’s life looks perfect doesn’t mean we need to mold ourselves into their image.

Freedom comes when we learn to let go of these expectations. It’s in the acceptance of imperfection and the acknowledgment that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to living. We can take a step back and look at our lives, assessing what’s working and what’s not. What rules can we toss aside to make room for a more fulfilling existence?

What about friendship? Many of us have rules about how often we should reach out or how much we should share. We may feel that we have to maintain certain standards of communication or loyalty. But what if we were more flexible? What if we approached relationships with the understanding that they can ebb and flow? It’s perfectly normal for friendships to change, and sometimes, that change is for the better. By letting go of rigid expectations, we open ourselves up to more genuine connections.

Moreover, it’s essential to understand that we’re not just breaking rules for the sake of rebellion; we’re carving out a space where we can thrive. When we shed these expectations, we often find ourselves more at peace, more aligned with our true selves.

In the end, it’s about empowerment. When we question the rules that govern our lives, we reclaim our agency. We become active participants in our own narratives rather than passive recipients of someone else’s script. The ability to decide what’s right for us is a profound gift, one that allows us to live authentically and unapologetically.

So, I encourage you to reflect on the rules you’ve internalized. Are they serving you? Do they enhance your life, or do they weigh you down? It’s never too late to reexamine and revise these unwritten codes that dictate our behavior. We have the power to rewrite the narrative of our lives—one choice at a time.

In this journey of self-discovery and liberation, remember that the only right way to live is the way that feels true to you. Embrace the freedom that comes with questioning social norms and allow yourself to flourish without the burden of unnecessary rules. After all, life is too short to live by someone else’s standards.

Well, that’s about it for my rambling today. Thanks for coming and spending some time with me. If you like my rambling then click on that like button. It really does help! Until we talk again, you take care of yourselves!