To Tell or Not to Tell: Navigating Chronic Illness Disclosure

Hello Dazzle! Thanks for coming and hanging out with me today, I’m glad that you are here. Today I want to talk about something that’s a bit tricky and very personal: deciding when—or if—you want to share your chronic illness with others. It’s something I’ve thought about a lot, and I know I’m not alone. Whether it’s friends, family, a partner, coworkers, or anyone else in your life, deciding when to “come out of the chronic illness closet” can feel overwhelming.

The most important thing to remember? You never owe anyone an explanation. Your medical information is yours to share—or not—on your terms. Let’s unpack this together.

You Don’t Owe Anyone an Explanation

First and foremost, it’s worth saying again: no one is entitled to your medical information. Not your coworkers, not casual acquaintances, not your friends, not even family. This can be a hard truth to internalize, especially in a world where people often expect explanations for why you cancel plans or need accommodations.

But your health is your business. If you choose to share, it should come from a place of comfort and not obligation. There’s no timeline or rule book here—only what feels right for you.

Sharing as Relationships Evolve

One of the most natural times to share about your chronic illness is when relationships deepen. Whether it’s friendships or romantic relationships, being open about this part of your life can foster understanding and trust.

• Friendships: With true friends, sharing your chronic illness might feel like a relief. It’s okay to lean on people who care about you and want to support you. A conversation like, “I want you to know because it’s a big part of my life” can open the door to empathy and connection.
• Dating: This one can be tricky. Do you tell someone on the first date? The third? After you’ve been seeing them for a while? There’s no right answer. Some people feel more comfortable sharing early to gauge how someone reacts; others prefer to wait until they know the person better. Either way, the key is to approach it with honesty and self-compassion. If they can’t accept your reality, they probably aren’t the right match anyway.

Navigating Work Conversations

Work is often where the question of disclosure feels the most daunting. On one hand, sharing can lead to accommodations and understanding from colleagues. On the other, it can bring fears of stigma or being seen as “less capable.”

• Pros: If you need accommodations, disclosing your illness can help you access resources or adjust your workload in a way that supports your health. For instance, flexible hours or the ability to work from home might be game-changers.
• Cons: Unfortunately, not every workplace culture is welcoming or understanding. There’s also the risk of being perceived differently, even if it’s subtle. For some, the fear of discrimination—whether conscious or unconscious—outweighs the potential benefits of sharing.

If you’re considering telling your employer, start small. You don’t have to share every detail. Focus on what’s necessary for your work environment, like saying, “I have a health condition that requires some flexibility in my schedule.”

Conclusion

I hope this helped you feel a little less alone in navigating the question of when to come out of the chronic illness closet. Just remember that it’s your story to tell, and you’re in control of the narrative. Do you feel that telling people about your illness has generally gone well, or is it generally received poorly? Tell me about it in the comments!

Well, that’s about it for my rambling today. Thanks for coming and spending some time with me. If you like the rambling, click on that like button. It really does help! Until we talk again, you take care of yourselves!