Update 070122

Hello my Zebras and Spoonies! Thanks for coming and hanging out with me today, I’m glad that you are here. Today I’m going to be giving an update on how things are going in my life.

Things have been stressful for me lately. There have been several emotionally heavy things that came all at once. There was the whole Roe vs Wade bull shit that has brought a whole host of emotions. This week was also my Gram’s birthday. I didn’t have the spoons to do a celebration of her birthday this year, but I was still thinking about her and missing her a lot. It is still hard for me to believe that she is gone. A part of my brain is still thinking that I can just drive over and have a fish dinner with her. Grief never really leaves you. It gets easier to handle, but it never goes away. I’ve reached the point in that I can talk about her without crying and that seems like healing.

Continue reading “Update 070122”


My fragile flesh now fails me
While my mind remains the same.
A prison of flesh and bones
I’m bound to this body.
An essential part of what I am.
Yet, this tangible stuff,
is not the essential stuff.
That which cannot be seen nor touched
Truly makes me what I am.
Do not judge me
for the tears I cry today
As I grieve the self I once imagined
and now know can never be.

Joy and Sorrow

Perhaps there could be no joy on this planet without an equal weight of pain to balance it out on some unknown scale. 

Stephenie Meyer, The Host

Hello my Zebras and Spoonies! Thanks for coming and hanging out with me today, I’m glad that you are here. Today I am going to be talking about the emotional states of joy and sorrow. In many ways, we consider these two feelings to be polar opposites of each other which is why they cause us so much confusion when a single event elicits both from us at the same time. Society also labels joy to be the “good” emotion and sorrow to be the “bad” emotion. While one is certainly more pleasurable to have around, I would argue that both are of equal value to our health and well being.

Continue reading “Joy and Sorrow”

Feel Better?

Hello my Zebras and Spoonies! Thanks for coming and hanging out with me today, I’m glad that you are here. Today is going to be a bit of a ranting day. It’s on the topic of mental health and the strange platitudes that people without mental illness give us. There are many that make sense to me and I understand why they say them, but there are many that have never made sense to me.

Alright, so I was reading around on the blogs that I follow and I came across something that really resonated with me on BlahPolar Diaries. So, here’s what was said:

And my shrink said, “don’t you feel better now that you know it wasn’t you, it was the disorder?” I don’t. Not even slightly.

Continue reading “Feel Better?”

Getting Control

Hello my Zebras and Spoonies! Thanks for coming and hanging out with me today, I’m glad that you are here. So, you’ve been diagnosed with a chronic illness. Now what? There are things that you can do to help find balance in your life (regardless of the diagnosis or even if you don’t have one).

While this list is going to be simple, it is important to remember that they are things that are hard to implement. Life style changes are hard and take time to master. You are more likely to be successful if you work on one area of your life at a time. Shoring up even one area will increase your well being, even if there are other areas that still need work. Remember to be patient with your self and to keep in mind that change takes time.

Continue reading “Getting Control”

My ADHD: Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria

Hello my Zebras and Spoonies! Thanks for coming and visiting with me today. I’m glad that you are here. Today is my second installment for the “My Diagnosis” series and the second part that is talking about My ADHD.

I want to start by talking about the fact that Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is not a symptom listed in the DSM5. This has caused many people to tell me that it isn’t really a part of ADHD. The thing to keep in mind is the actual role and purpose of the DSM5. It is a diagnostic manual. This means that the purpose of the book is not to cover each diagnosis in it’s fullness. The purpose of the book is to cover the criteria that are needed to be diagnosed with the diagnosis. This means that every diagnosis in the DSM5 is not represented in it’s full capacity. It is only presented in the manner that will allow a provider to know if someone has met (or not met) the diagnostic criteria for a disorder. There are many aspects to all of these diagnoses that are not talked about in the DSM5 because they are not diagnostic features of the diagnosis.

Continue reading “My ADHD: Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria”