I’m Taking It On Faith

Hello Dazzle! Thanks for coming and hanging out with me today, I’m glad that you are here. Today, I want to give you a bit of a life update as well as talk about some of the bigger things that have been going on. Let’s start with the fact that I am not ok and my solution is that I am going to take a leap of faith. It is terrifying, but I know that things are not sustainable as they are. Which means that now must become a time of change, whether I want it or not.

Continue reading “I’m Taking It On Faith”

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Don’t tell me everything is alright
when I know that you are breaking
crumbling inside into a thousand fragile pieces
Doff your mask and put aside your hat
I give you permission to get messy
So sit down and let it all out
what ever is living, bound up in your rib cage
strip down naked and lay yourself bare
pull out your guts and cry your eyes out
no more dirty secrets or skeletons in a closet
tonight, let’s be raw and real
no holding back and no reserve
our date will be dancing in the darkness
crying in the rain and shouting at the stars

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Whisper to the butterfly
and let it carry on it’s wings
all the things you wish you said
to those now long dead

Only dreams and memories
spun together with longing and regret
are holding these spirits here
for all the things they haven’t heard yet

All the time that stands between us
while I clutch at your dust
and dance with the time past
wishing I could forget

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I feel nothing but the empty;
surging, huge inside me,
filling all my spaces
and silencing all my songs.
This world always told me
I can never belong.
Always reaching to reshape me,
pressing me against the mold,
forcing out all the colors.
I look at the mirrored grey
and I imagine the rainbow
and all the ways I was painted
before you had your way.
Looking out this little window
upon the expansive grey,
I wonder: who stole your light
and made you believe in shadows?
All the thieving generations,
blindly, grabbing at what is gone,
hurting all their babies,
snuffing out the little lights,
too painful to look upon.
This angry, raging circle,
cutting as it spins.
But why not
turn the lights back on?

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eggshell fragile
with new skin
freshly shedding the old
sitting here in the sun
not brave enough yet to venture
recalling all the things
that I thought made me
and suddenly realizing
I’m none
I’m only this
bare
naked
new
nearing the last days
but always just born
still discovering
everything around me
is awe and luxury
always
still so new
standing on this earth
I can never be old
forever just a child
confused
seeking
lonely
hoping for the answers
and realizing I have none