Hello my Zebras and Spoonies! Thanks for coming and hanging out with me today. I’m glad that you are here. Today, I am going to be talking about relationships and how to have difficult conversations with the people that we care about.
The single most difficult thing as a human being is making ourselves understood to another human being. It’s crazy, but I also believe it to be true. Everyone is trapped into their world view and it is very difficult to shift that perspective to another person’s view point. That’s especially true if that view point is particularly different than yours. Add into that the reality of logical fallacies and intellectual biases that all of us carry around and things only get messier. In this post, I want to talk about the things that I believe are essential in order to have really good conversations with the people we really care about.
Continue reading “Difficult Conversations”
Hello, my zebras in spoonies thanks for coming. I’m glad that you’re here. So I’ve been talking about boundaries a lot over my last couple posts and this is also going to be about boundaries. Specifically, I want to talk about medical boundaries, this comes up a lot for those of us who have chronic illness.
Continue reading “Medical Boundaries”
Hello, my zebras and spoonies! Thanks for coming and hanging out with me today. I’m glad that you’re here. So today, let’s talk about boundaries and relationships some more.
The first thing is that it’s absolutely essential to understand is that love equals respect. Doesn’t matter what type of relationship that we’re talking about, if it’s going to be a good, healthy relationship, it is going to be one that is founded upon and centers around, mutual respect. That means that both people’s needs matter equally, and that both parties are going to work for both people’s needs to be met at all times. And that doesn’t mean that there’s going to be times that one person has bigger needs than the other, and that there’s going to be times where one has bigger support needs than the other and that that dynamic doesn’t shift back and forth but that the overall arc is going to be that both people’s needs are being met, equally. It really comes down to respect and respect is really about boundaries and having boundaries in relationships.
Continue reading “Types of Boundaries”
Today, I want to talk about somethings that you can do to help keep a relationship going despite being stressed by one or both partners having a chronic illness. A lot of this advice is just how I personally think good relationships work, regardless if there is chronic illness involved or not.
Continue reading “Making Relationships Work”
When you have chronic illness, you often find that you don’t have as much energy as you’d like to have and you have to start making choices about how and when you are going to use that energy. One challenge that I frequently hear people with chronic illness talking about is having enough energy to get their house work done. There is no perfect equation that will make this achievable for everyone, but there are things that you can do to make reaching this goal more possible.
Continue reading “House Work with Chronic Illness”
When diagnosed with a chronic illness or disorder, many complex things happen in your life. There is the moment when you have to decide who you disclose the diagnosis to and who you keep it from. This is a very personal and often complex decision filled with emotional landmines. So, what do you do when faced with denial after the disclosure?
Continue reading “Navigating Denial”
I am in numerous support groups and I frequently see people asking about how they can convince their family or friends that their diagnosis or some symptom of it is real.
The thing is that we don’t owe our friends or family any amount of our medical information. Even our spouses. They are entitled to exactly zero percent. That’s the first thing to keep in mind here. We should only be telling people the amount we are comfortable with and then state “I don’t want to talk about that.”
Continue reading “RESPECT, BOUNDARIES AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS”