Hello, my zebras in spoonies thanks for coming. I’m glad that you’re here. So I’ve been talking about boundaries a lot over my last couple posts and this is also going to be about boundaries. Specifically, I want to talk about medical boundaries, this comes up a lot for those of us who have chronic illness.
Continue reading “Medical Boundaries”Tag: relationships
Types of Boundaries
Hello, my zebras and spoonies! Thanks for coming and hanging out with me today. I’m glad that you’re here. So today, let’s talk about boundaries and relationships some more.
The first thing is that it’s absolutely essential to understand is that love equals respect. Doesn’t matter what type of relationship that we’re talking about, if it’s going to be a good, healthy relationship, it is going to be one that is founded upon and centers around, mutual respect. That means that both people’s needs matter equally, and that both parties are going to work for both people’s needs to be met at all times. And that doesn’t mean that there’s going to be times that one person has bigger needs than the other, and that there’s going to be times where one has bigger support needs than the other and that that dynamic doesn’t shift back and forth but that the overall arc is going to be that both people’s needs are being met, equally. It really comes down to respect and respect is really about boundaries and having boundaries in relationships.
Continue reading “Types of Boundaries”Boundaries
Hello my zebras and spoonies thank you for coming and hanging out with me. I’m really glad that you’re here today. I’m going to be talking about boundaries. It’s something that I talk about a lot because I think that it’s super important. So, what are boundaries? Let’s start at the basics. Setting boundaries is about listening to yourself and your inner voice, and drawing social lines where you are made uncomfortable. So everyone’s boundaries are different, and that’s really super important because that necessitates that we as mature, responsible adults need to communicate with each other about where our boundaries are. We can never assume that other people know what our boundaries are or that we know what other people’s boundaries are because everyone is different, and their comfort zones are different. We all have things that could trigger past traumas or trigger sensory issues or whatever. We all have different things that make us feel uncomfortable or unsafe in our lives, and those are the areas in our social interactions that we need to draw boundaries. So setting boundaries is an act of self respect and an act of self preservation. It is the most essential act of self care. When someone does something to you that makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. It comes with a mental health cost. It uses spoons that are so very essential in our lives and we can’t afford to be wasting spoons on stupid stuff that we just shouldn’t be wasting them on; so boundaries can help us with this by just saying to someone, hey this is my boundary. And then, holding them to that.
Continue reading “Boundaries”Making Relationships Work
Today, I want to talk about somethings that you can do to help keep a relationship going despite being stressed by one or both partners having a chronic illness. A lot of this advice is just how I personally think good relationships work, regardless if there is chronic illness involved or not.
Continue reading “Making Relationships Work”Friendship Illusions
One things about the internet, is that it creates an illusionary world that is easy to believe in. It tells us about all the amazing adventures, great times and tons of friends that other people are having while we are failing to achieve the same. There is a very real risk of comparing ourselves to these illusions and believing that we are some how falling short or failing in life.
Continue reading “Friendship Illusions”To Have Loved and Lost
In Memoriam A. H. H. OBIIT MDCCCXXXIII: 17
BY ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON
I envy not in any moods
The captive void of noble rage,
The linnet born within the cage,
That never knew the summer woods:
Reflections on a Pond
How can one know the fullness of something without first knowing the parts which surmise to create the whole? Observation then cannot be based upon the desire to define something. It must simply become an exercise to see what is present. This becomes particularly important when speaking of people.
Continue reading “Reflections on a Pond”RESPECT, BOUNDARIES AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
I am in numerous support groups and I frequently see people asking about how they can convince their family or friends that their diagnosis or some symptom of it is real. 
The thing is that we don’t owe our friends or family any amount of our medical information. Even our spouses. They are entitled to exactly zero percent. That’s the first thing to keep in mind here. We should only be telling people the amount we are comfortable with and then state “I don’t want to talk about that.”
Continue reading “RESPECT, BOUNDARIES AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS”