Choice

One thing that no one can ever take from you is your power to choose. It is something that you cannot even take from yourself. If you choose to allow others to make choices for you, that is a choice. One that you make each time that you comply with their decisions. There are times that we are compelled to do things by outside forces such as the law, but we still have the power to choose how we will respond. The thing about making choices is that it doesn’t grant you the power to do anything that you want. You are limited by circumstances and by what your imagination can come up with. But you can always choose something. Will you comply with what you have been compelled to do or will you resist? That is a choice and the results of those choices are likely to be different.

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Apples and Oranges

One thing that is very real and very frustrating in the world of chronic illness: Misdiagnosis. The more rare your disease and more complex your medical case, the more likely that you will be misdiagnosed before someone gives you the “real answer.” The truth is that diagnosing patients is complex and, frankly, it’s really hard. Most medical tests don’t lead to a single diagnosis, but rather suggest a list of possible answers that must then be compared to the patient’s list of symptoms. And the fact of the matter is that most of us in the chronic illness community have struggled with this reality.

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Types of Boundaries

Hello, my zebras and spoonies! Thanks for coming and hanging out with me today. I’m glad that you’re here. So today, let’s talk about boundaries and relationships some more.

The first thing is that it’s absolutely essential to understand is that love equals respect. Doesn’t matter what type of relationship that we’re talking about, if it’s going to be a good, healthy relationship, it is going to be one that is founded upon and centers around, mutual respect. That means that both people’s needs matter equally, and that both parties are going to work for both people’s needs to be met at all times. And that doesn’t mean that there’s going to be times that one person has bigger needs than the other, and that there’s going to be times where one has bigger support needs than the other and that that dynamic doesn’t shift back and forth but that the overall arc is going to be that both people’s needs are being met, equally. It really comes down to respect and respect is really about boundaries and having boundaries in relationships.

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Boundaries

Hello my zebras and spoonies thank you for coming and hanging out with me. I’m really glad that you’re here today. I’m going to be talking about boundaries. It’s something that I talk about a lot because I think that it’s super important. So, what are boundaries? Let’s start at the basics. Setting boundaries is about listening to yourself and your inner voice, and drawing social lines where you are made uncomfortable. So everyone’s boundaries are different, and that’s really super important because that necessitates that we as mature, responsible adults need to communicate with each other about where our boundaries are. We can never assume that other people know what our boundaries are or that we know what other people’s boundaries are because everyone is different, and their comfort zones are different. We all have things that could trigger past traumas or trigger sensory issues or whatever. We all have different things that make us feel uncomfortable or unsafe in our lives, and those are the areas in our social interactions that we need to draw boundaries. So setting boundaries is an act of self respect and an act of self preservation. It is the most essential act of self care. When someone does something to you that makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. It comes with a mental health cost. It uses spoons that are so very essential in our lives and we can’t afford to be wasting spoons on stupid stuff that we just shouldn’t be wasting them on; so boundaries can help us with this by just saying to someone, hey this is my boundary. And then, holding them to that.

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The Power of Music

Music is a core part of all of humanity. Every culture across the globe has some kind of music. All of humanity: we sing and we dance and we make musical instruments. We do this by ourselves. We do this as groups. We do this in times of celebration. We do this in times of stress. We have been making music for as long as we have been documenting history and evidence suggests that we have been doing the making of music before we have been writing. So this suggests that there’s something really essential, profound and powerful about music, which is why so many people research it, because we ask this question of “why music?” What is it about music, that’s so important that every human being on the planet, engages with music, on some level? Whether you are a performer or you’re just somebody who is listening. Whether you’re singing in the shower or tapping on the table to a song in your head. We all engage in the creation and listening and sharing of music. Why is that?

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Guilt

Hi, my zebras in spoonies! Thanks for coming and visiting me. I’m glad that you’re spending your time with me.

Today I’m going to be talking about guilt, because the reality is that the majority of people who have chronic illness experience guilt, lots of flavors of guilt, but we feel guilt. It’s kind of an interesting phenomenon when you think about the fact that nobody chooses to have a chronic illness and yet we feel guilty about it. I just wanted to explore what we feel guilty about and what we can do about it.

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